I saw a lot of Tumblr posts about Game of Thrones before I ever started watching it so I came to the series aware that Lord Varys was characterized as asexual.  Naturally, when I found out that he was a Eunuch I immediately became very incensed and spent the subsequent three seasons gnashing my teeth and preparing to be righteously outraged at this mischaracterization.

So, having now caught up, I’m going to have to apologise for all my pre-emptive rage because it turns out that Varys really is asexual.  He makes it very explicitly clear to Prince Oberyn that his disinterest in all things sexual predates his being castrated by an evil magician.  Personally I really liked the scene and, as an asexual who has been doing a lot of fast-forwarding through Game of Thrones numerous uncomfortable looking sex scenes (seriously, everyone looks miserable, no one ever looks like they’re enjoying themselves), I definitely appreciated his jabs about the numerous messes that have been the direct result of people not being able to keep it in their pants.  The other element of Varys and Oberyn’s discussion, which I appreciated, was that while Oberyn was obviously surprised that Varys (or anyone) could be asexual, he seemed to take the idea to heart relatively rapidly and quite politely.

The second asexuality related scene, which I haven’t really seen talked about is Grey Worm’s scene with Missandei.  Identifying Grey Worm as an asexual character is problematic since he was castrated at a young age but I actually found his scenes with Missandei highly relatable and refreshing, especially given how gratuitously and often violently sexual the show is, to show a consensual, non-sexual scene.  Regardless of whether any asexual characters were involved, the model of romance shown here is asexual (and I find it very relatable, so consider this my admission of bias).  These are two people who don’t have any sort of sexual relationship but who obviously find each other very attractive anyway, and who interact in relatively non-conventional ways (through language lessons).  It’s a very sweet reminder in a very physically focused show that attraction doesn’t actually begin and end in your pants.

That’s not a sort of relationship I expected to see on TV anywhere.  Let alone the notoriously problematic Game of Thrones.  So good job Game of Thrones, you got this right.

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